Hateful Eight: the worst heroes. The best adventure.

I had a dream “about” Hateful Eight, but in this dream, it was actually a parody of Big Hero Six made by a bunch of nerds.

A parody of the “so bad it’s good” variety, I might add…

The dream started out with me reading an interview about the movie in a magazine. It was maybe about six pages long, with a number of pictures. Here are a couple excerpts I remember.

[Woman from team*]: So when coming up with the superpowers we tried to go for things that would be unexpected, but also just be really “blah” to any sane person.
[Man from team*]: Like this fox. It’s actually two foxes… they try to stay together but they keep coming apart as you can see.

The illustration actually looked like this. The style and maybe the look of the pencil strokes was different but it was just pencil on white.

Our first step in the creative process was usually to look at pictures of experimental animals. Creatures with their eyes sewn shut… stuff like that. You can find some pretty horrible stuff and it’s all a great source of inspiration.

After that we’d bounce ideas off our team. We were merciless with ideas. If any of us was caught finding an idea actually okay it was straight out the window and back to the drawing board for that one.

Then we’d show it to an audience. As soon as they hated it, we knew we had a winning design.

(Most of this is heavily paraphrased, but I think it’s pretty close to the article in the dream since it had a fairly evident writing style and gist of what they were saying that I took advantage of to fill in the gaps.

* The people from the team of course had names in the article. This was the kind of deal where instead of one single director they had a whole team that was in charge of writing/concept art collectively, and then they had some other people to actually help them make the movie.

Also it was ambiguous whether the fox was a superhero or a power but I think it was a summoned power of some kind.)

In the next part of the dream, I was actually at a theatre to see the movie, but… I think this team considered themselves kind of avant-garde. Instead of just showing the movie, they decided to do this weird thing of showing a bunch of parody movie trailers (or movie-trailer-like things…) first? I think I would’ve got to see the movie if I’d gotten through them all, but I never actually got through them before the dream ended.

The whole core team of eight to ten people was there to talk about stuff, but most of the talking was done by this young man of about 20-25 wearing a red-brown suit with some kind of faint lavender pattern (it was less gaudy than it sounds). He talked about each of the trailers briefly before and after they showed, as well as one time reassuring everyone in a slightly joking tone that (including the movie) “It’ll just be a few more hours”.

I saw maybe about ten of these trailers but I don’t remember most of them.

The trailers included:

  • Something that looked uncannily like the end of a trailer for the first Harry Potter movie, with the shades of deep dusk blue and the castle. The title in Harry Potter lightning bolt font comes spinning in, with the letters h, a, and p clearly in it… looks fairly legit… and then it appears. It actually says “Happstablook“, soon complemented by a cute little picture of entirely the wrong Undertale ghost with a top hat, and the tagline “Harry Potter is yesterday”. Weird suit guy remarks afterward that “We had to put the whole thing off-centre [the castle and title, he means] so it wouldn’t be as obvious”.
  • A “card trick” where I have no idea what was supposed to be done but this person who was supposed to do fancy stuff with the cards but clearly hadn’t practised picked up a random card and put it on the deck and was like ‘yeah, here you go.’ The other person with long curled hair and a trenchcoat looked at them really unimpressed, and so they picked up the card which was a six and showed that under the six were a two and a three! See! Those add up! …They… they totally add up. Yeah. Coat person just gave them an even more unimpressed expression with narrowed eyes. They picked up another card and put it on top of the six. “So you’re putting the zero on top of the six… and now everything adds up…” the coat person says. The card is a zero of spades, which looks a lot like a five or a seven maybe except its number is a zero (and one of the zeroes looks like a half-edited 6 or 9 with the ascender/descender sticking out a bit). The “expert magician” has run out of clever arithmetic and just says nothing.
  • A cover of the famous Pokémon dub song which for no good reason was about unicorns. Weird suit dude didn’t say a lot before it played apart from noting that “you’ll notice a little something wrong here… actually a lot of things wrong here”. The video was panning over a theatre where a bunch of people were wearing unicorn costumes, but they weren’t quite “proper” unicorns—each of them had at least one little alteration, a really common one being the horn being a flat question mark. I distinctly remember one near the front where the person had a mask as big as their body so it was just a giant head, and the head didn’t even have a horn but it was very geometrically stylised and somewhat kirin-looking. The lyrics of the song were a bait-and-switch which would start out hinting that everyone wanted to tame a unicorn and unicorns were friends, and then, surprise! transition to the revelation that actually the goal is to kill every one of them dead. (I wasn’t really paying attention to the lyrics because I was pretty confused about the whole thing until the “twist” came up. The refrain was something like “U-NI-CORNS! [something about whacking them apart and letting them all fall to the ground in a pool of blood, but honestly, the way they put it into a rhyming lyric was clever and amusing in a way I just can’t duplicate]”.)

…The trailers seemed a lot better and more clever in the dream.

I’m honestly wondering what I had against unicorns now…………