Today I had about three dreams that for some reason I remembered.

1.

I had this very small white weasel (about 5″/13 cm in length) that absolutely couldn’t sit still and was curiously worming its way around my hands and everywhere. I put it in a drawer and shut the drawer so I could eat dinner without it going anywhere, which seemed to have worked. Later it seemed to be behaving a little better and I was taking it places.

I walked by some fast food hamburger place (the counter was open like it was in a mall or something, though I think I was in an outdoor market type place?) and… they had an advertisement on their menu board advertising small hamburgers for your pet. (???) I offered one to my small weasel and it seemed very ambivalent about it, sniffing around it curiously and nibbling on it a bit but also drawing back from it and not really wanting to eat it.

A little after that I went over to another counter where apparently you could complain to people or ask questions and immediately asked what was up with part of it above the beef and cheese being fertiliser-blue in colour. “Oh, that’s just the bacon,” one of them said. They noted my unconvinced face and firmly-planted feet. “That’s just the bacon,” one of the two said again in a tone of ‘please don’t glare at us? …please? we’re absolutely sure we’re not trying to trick you’.

Apparently, they’d just dye it that colour for cool.

As I walked away from this clearly ripoff hamburger place I offered my weasel some dry cat food (which it actually seemed somewhat interested in), musing about how “given that they’re omnivores, cat food is probably better for your ferret than your cat“.

2.

We have this tall bookshelf filled with big thick legal books. For some reason I had a dream about these books being something else. First they were these really thick paperback books with a thin cover that looked like blue-grey marble and on the spine were labelled something like “thinprint edition”, anyway it was something that was pretty ironic when they were really big hefty thick books. After that, the lower half of the entire shelf of books (well, a quarter of the full shelf, it’s a divided cabinet with a sliding glass door) turned into this huge manga about the Crystal Gems. In Japan they have these really thick magazines like an inch and a half thick or something at newsstands which publish serial releases of manga. And each of the volumes was the size of one of those, maybe thicker actually; I flipped through one looking at the page numbers just to see how many pages were in it and there were like 400 pages.

I was determined this was a cool thing and I was going to read through all of it not just “someday”, but actually soon. And I did pick up like the first one and start looking at it, but I only got to see about one page of it. It was monochrome and very much a manga (the characters weren’t super “anime-styled” at all, they were pretty representative of how you get a bunch of variation in style with manga artists you don’t so much get with anime and also how sometimes you see rather cool linework styles in them), though it did happen to be in English. I was slightly frustrated when I woke up I didn’t get to see more of it because typically when you see something in a dream that’s your only chance to see it, and I think there could have been some pretty cool stuff in there.

(Interestingly when I was flipping through page numbers the pages went from left to right, and when I started reading the thing I opened it at the right side and it read right to left. Really nice consistency, dream. :p)

3.

Garnet and Pearl were casually assisting in some kind of educational presentation about word definitions on a projector, where, like, they had various slides they’d made with photos and they were saying definitions based on the picture (it was mostly Pearl narrating them; also it was like one of those old classroom overheads with like a slightly yellowish light, but somehow it could also flip through slides if you pressed a ‘next’ button. I don’t have any idea why they used that thing instead of Gem stuff/abilities :p). It was a bunch like the Super Dictionary, except instead of superheroes it was saying stuff about the Crystal Gems and instead of totally random stuff the definitions were actually somewhat connected in a coherent story.

So what was the surely interesting and probably adorable story?

Apparently at one time Amethyst was depressed—like, she had depression—and nobody fucking noticed. Um…?? The presentation was trying to act as if its definitions weren’t connected and were just random but there was this weird thread in all of them that Amethyst continued to be depressed and nobody cared, sometimes she’d literally be there sitting/lying around in the background with like a jar of pickles being held up from the side by Pearl so they could define gherkin or spontaneous or gratuitous or whatever that one was.

In one of the early definitions they used Amethyst to define “depressed”, but a few definitions after that they just went to almost totally random things. By the point of the jar of pickles or whatever it was it felt like they were just coming up with reasons to not address Amethyst so they wouldn’t sadden everyone. Steven was with them and sort of watching it (I’d think he’d know at least 90% of the words they were defining, so he might’ve been helping them present it somehow), and when they did that definition he turned and asked something like ‘wait, Amethyst was depressed??’ and they were like ‘oh, yeah’, just brushing it off like it was old news to them. Amethyst was notably not there for some reason, though I don’t know if it was because she was depressed or some other reason.

After I woke up and was able to consciously react to the dream I was just like “what the fuck. First of all where the fuck did that come from and second, what a nice addition to the list of things I don’t need”.

As to where it actually came, from I’m pretty sure it came from this radio commercial they run every day where this woman casually describes some symptoms of clinical depression she had and somebody asks “do you think this could be related to your epilepsy?” because depression risk is apparently elevated when you have epilepsy. The definition in the dream sounded a bunch like her description of symptoms.

I guess I can say for certain now that annoying radio PSAs about diseases have consequences. :p