The Legend of Kolonok

There’s a story of a man who had ambition like a whale
He might not’ve saved no maidens or put on no ornate mail
But the truth of it is that bloke was bravest of the brave
There’s not and never ever will be none to trudge the road he paved

Now this man known as Kolonok had whiskers like a fox
And although they were a-grayin’ he had mostly brownish locks
His colleagues all respected him until the day he said

“I’m gonna prove there’s no true magic or I’m gonna end up dead.”

Kolonok
Could not dream symbols came from naught
Or that things could just ups and be something other than what they aught
He knew what he’d do to set his scoffing colleagues right
He took his team above the parallel where brown bears yield to white

Now the story’d been since long ago the north was kind of odd
That for many many centuries but few had dared there trod
‘Twas said that if you went there then your fate would be quite dark
But to the brave intrepid Kolonok that mostly seemed like bark

Kolonok
Was a man with a sense about his head
He knew the world had no true monsters and this was likely senseless dread
He knew what to do to set these gullible cowards right
He took his team above the parallel where winter has no light

Now up in the northlands there it’s really not a breeze
Even the steel-muscled Kolonok was liable to freeze
His companions all complained there was no way they would succeed
But Kolonok told them to stuff it and build camp as they’d agreed

Kolonok
Sometimes took a somewhat hardened line
Although he did have some compassion ’twas for him like an antique wine
He knew what to do to set those weak complainers right
He took his team above the parallel where huskies show their might

Now for weeks and weeks and months and days all the team unearthed was snow
And ol’ Kolonok’s companions said, “You know, we should prob’ly go”
But ol’ Kolonok just drove ’em all further into the night
He said

“I said I was gonna prove my point and I gotta do it right.”

Kolonok
May’ve seemed like he didn’t have a brain
He put his pride above his life and hardly knew that thing called pain
But he knew what to do to set the clueless public right
He took his team above the parallel where guillemots take flight

After what seemed like forever and a day one team came back not
To tell Kolonok the usual but that they’d hit the jackpot
When the boss heard that he leapt up and his whip flew to his hand
Said

“We’re going there next morning! Prep the dogs, that’s my command.”

Kolonok
Didn’t know what lay out far beyond
But then to him that made it better as of darkness he was fond
He knew what to do to set the sceptics back home right
He took his team above the parallel where starlights twinkle bright

When they got there sure enough it was a sure sight to behold
The air was churning with auroras far below the dawn sky’s fold
The group was both aghast and mesmerised to the very core
But when their boss said “Now let’s probe this” they recoiled in horror

Kolonok
Wasn’t one to ever stop midway
If he had gone this far he’d not be back without a strict assay
He knew what to do to set those distant doubters right
He took his team above the parallel where most would die of fright

Now they were face to face in front of it, and seemingly third base
And their boss had him a vial to take back to their camping place
Why, it seemed as if their mission might go through without a hitch
Until a being made of prism glass emerged from who-knows-which

Kolonok
As a man was honest, brave and true
But it was really not unlike him to bite off more than he could chew
Still, he knew what to do to set those craven sissies right
He took his team above that parallel and he was gonna fight

Now the being was a hexart with a heart of rainbow quartz
And it didn’t seem as violent as a mouse from souther parts
But when it closed its eyes and opened them the explorers filled with dread
They couldn’t say exactly why but knew it’d be best if they fled

Kolonok
Was secure as steel ’round a spool
He’d not unravel for a hurricane and thus he kept his cool
He knew what to do to set this crazy mad world right
He took his team above that parallel where naught could really bite

Oh, the hexart dropped its lids again and spread on out its wings
And the auroras slowed and darkened, seeming to bring bad tidings
The entire world around them seemed dark as the ocean floor
And Kolonok’s poor group of followers could not take any more

Kolonok
Was one of the hardiest of men
But when his comrades started running he began to think again
He knew what to do but was no longer sure if it was right
When he took his team above that parallel into a thorny plight

Now the dogs were going crazy and the men were running fast
And some harnesses were tangling and some mushers were getting cast
But their boss just kept on standing there and gently reached ahead
“If you know what’s good for you, my friend, you’ll quit this now” he said

Kolonok
Knew things were getting out of hand
But at the same time couldn’t stand to waste a moment not being grand
He knew what to do to prove his intuitions right
He set his hand upon the hexart and he firmly held it tight

At that the beast seemed now contented and the darkness seemed to calm
But there was still something amiss he felt that slightly shook his palm
So he took a gander backward thinking naught much he’d find there
And caught a halfways-vanished team dissolving into empty air

Kolonok
As you know would trudge through rain or sleet
But when he saw this thing occur why then his heart ’bout skipped a beat
He had no clue what to do and so he pleaded for his life

“Please now sweet dragon don’t destroy me and remove me from this strife!”

Kolonok was looking hopeful when the hexart blinked again
Thought now maybe now just maybe it might even be his friend
But soon enough it faded out into the Arctic air
And he only felt more shaky with each second he stayed there

Kolonok
Was really fairly sturdily built
But now his knees began to wobble with a crushing sense of guilt
He knew of but one thing to do to set this awful setback right
He packed his tools and last three dogs up and he slunk into the night

Kolonok
Could not dream symbols came from naught
Or that things could just ups and be something other than what they aught
He knew what to do to set his scoffing colleagues right
He took his team above the parallel where brown bears yield to white

Kolonok
Could not dream symbols came from naught
Or that things could just ups and be something other than what they aught
He knew what to do to set the clueless public right
He took his team above the parallel where winter has no light

Kolonok
Could not dream symbols came from naught
Or that things could just ups and be something other than what they aught
He knew what to do to set the sceptics back home right
He took his team above the parallel where huskies show their might

Although he had his ship and dogs still Kolonok had naught to show
Devoid of pride and empty-handed he had almost nowhere to go
So he weaseled on into his den and whiled the days away
And if his heart pained on forever well no one could really say

Kolonok
Could not dream symbols came from naught
Or that things could just ups and be something other than what they aught
He knew what to do to set his scoffing colleagues right
He took his team above the parallel where guillemots take flight

Kolonok
Could not dream symbols came from naught
Or that things could just ups and be something other than what they aught
He knew what to do to set those distant doubters right
He took his team above the parallel where starlights twinkle bright

Kolonok
Could not dream symbols came from naught
Or that things could just ups and be something other than what they aught
He knew what to do to prove his intuitions right
He took his team above the parallel where brown bears yield to white